Jun. 23 at 8:49 PM
$LULU I just got off the phone with a woman who is completely at her wits end and is feeling terribly hopeless. This woman, who I fly paper airplanes with and also share a bumper sticker collection, is growing more and more depressed by the hour. She was raising her 2 daughters to be fine, upstanding, proud and virtuous girls who respect and value themselves highly. However, after her daughters both bought several pair of Lululemon's see-through, skin-tight, ass-expanding leggings (made from cheap, trashy, discarded bird nests, found in garbage dumps in Eastern Bangladesh), it seems that her once "darling little angels" have both gotten "knocked up" and are now known by the townspeople as the "Strumpet Sisters". Another family destroyed by LULU.